In the Qur'an, Allah places kindness to parents right after worshipping Him alone, telling us to be good to our mother and father and never even say "uff" (a word of annoyance) to them (Sūrah 17:23). Honouring parents is called birr al-wālidayn.
Honouring parents
Respect shows in how we speak and act. Even when we disagree, we stay gentle.
- Speak softly and never roll your eyes or raise your voice.
- Obey them in all good things quickly and cheerfully.
- Make duʿāʾ for them, as the Qur'an teaches: "My Lord, have mercy on them as they raised me when I was small."
Obeying in good things
We obey parents in what is good and right. Islam does not ask us to do something sinful even if a parent asks, but we still refuse gently and respectfully, never rudely.
Caring for parents
As parents grow older, it is our turn to help them, just as they once helped us.
- Help with chores without being asked.
- Sit with them, listen, and check they are well.
- Never make them feel like a burden.
Respecting teachers and elders
The Prophet ﷺ taught that showing respect to our elders is part of honouring Allah. Teachers, grandparents and older relatives deserve our courtesy.
- Greet elders first and give up your seat for them.
- Listen to teachers and thank them for their effort.
- Be patient and gentle with older people.
Honouring parents at every stage
Birr al-wālidayn is not one duty but a changing one — what it asks of you at eight is not what it will ask at forty.
| Stage | What honouring looks like |
|---|---|
| While you are young | Obeying quickly and cheerfully in everything good |
| When you disagree | Staying gentle; if asked to do wrong, refusing respectfully — never rudely |
| When they grow old | Caring for them as they once cared for you |
| At every stage | Duʿāʾ: “My Lord, have mercy on them as they raised me when I was small” |
Sort each behaviour into the right group:
- Speaking softly even when you disagree
- Helping with the chores before being asked
- Making duʿāʾ for them
- Rolling your eyes when asked to help
- Sighing “uff” when tired of a request
- Raising your voice to win the argument